Recently I heard somebody say, “Be perfect not better.” I had to think about this statement before I understood with new clarity what I believed was the message.

To begin, I decided both of the main words needed to be defined. After reviewing several sources these are the definitions I chose:
– Perfect – ideal, without fault, flawless, free of defect …
– Better – high quality, upper level, step ahead, more important …

Both of these words imply a superiority. Better is a step up and more important while perfect is without flaw and ideal. Wow, both seem like they would be impossible to achieve and live constantly with. But if you look at the statement in a different way, maybe there is a way to achieve being perfect. Though I don’t know anyone who is perfect or can live life always perfectly, I do think,
with a new definition, having some perfection is admirable.

I believe the message that was to be received is live your life in your way – your perfect way, with all its beauty and flaws. But not to use your perfection to show, prove, or flaunt how much better you are than all others. If you are comfortable with who you are, then you don’t need to be better than another. Rather we each live with a comfort in oneself and an acceptance that as perfect we are, so is everyone. It’s acceptance of self and others that is cresting the perfection. It’s not needing to be any more ideal that you are able or wanting to be and recognizing and accepting that in each other. Acceptance.

Instead of defining perfect as flawless or without fault, could it be living life in a modified ideal, without remorse? The difference is living without deep regret. Reflection, learning, and growing is important, but to live with so much regret it holds one back is debilitating. What I’m proposing is living with personal awareness and recognizing for oneself: What is your ideal? It is believing you are wonderful as you are, while continuing to evolve to be even more of who you imagine yourself to be. It’s a delicate balance between personal acceptance of the person you are at this moment and how you wish to be. None of us is perfectly flawless. Knowing each of us is not flawless means you accept yourself even with flaws. It’s the acceptance and balance of being and
becoming, personal acceptance, and personal evolution.

This does not mean what flaws one has is an excuse to be stuck or to make excuses. Instead, this balance is what can give strength to live fully each day who you are and deciding how and what you want to do to grow, evolve, and continually become even more fully the best ideal you. It’s embracing the highest qualities of who you are, as well as what we might consider flaws. Flaws, weaknesses, aspects we personally want changed are those areas that help us decide what we want different, and we can use these as guidelines for growth and self-actualization.

And while you are living with acceptance in your own way of personal comfort, it also means accepting others. The message is saying be perfectly who you are now, without the need or desire to be superior to another. You are accepting that you need to understand that others have flaws and may also be working on growing and evolving and transforming their flaws.

There is a certain amount of judgement that happens. Judgement happens as a tool to understand how to trust, love, work with, interact with, be friends, and so on with all others in our life. We have the responsibility to decide with whom we want to share our life. It’s not healthy to welcome everyone into our inner life circle. However, it’s also not identifying another person by overlooking their flaws only by their flaws or because you believe you can change what you perceive they need to change. It’s understanding who and how another presents him- or herself to you, and understanding if what they present is someone you want to have in your life. It helps us understand how we can interact with others and embrace or distance them. This is not to limit who another is or can be, but how much what they show you want to interact with and accept in your realm. Even as you do this, remember you are each different and you are not better than another, simply different. Some will be embraced, others rejected, and some will have their status with you changed. Never better. You are to be you with as much perfect as you can be right now. And when you accept that they are as perfect as they are right now, you acknowledge you are not better.

Some others we can more easily live and interact with while others we reject. Each is who they are. You are to be a perfect you. Everyone else is to be who they are. We are different –not higher quality, upper level, step ahead, more important, and so on than others.

Live your life in your perfect and not believing or proving you are better.



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