Change is difficult.
Often, our patterns of action, beliefs, and interactions are draining and challenging to transform. When we attempt to change, we fall back into old patterns, habits, beliefs, and ways, forming resentments, personal self-doubt, lower self-esteem, and personal disgust.
Not loving yourself is a hard way to live. Too much personal doubt and self-denigration are the result of holding on to all the past things that have drained us. Instead of releasing all these resentments, we repeatedly stuff them into our sack of self-disgust resenting both ourselves and others.
It’s important to find ways to not hold on to all these wasted things we’ve been holding onto. We need to release all that which does not serve our personal path. Sometimes, we even need to release happy times and memories that we’ve held on to as lifelines rather than joyful life experiences to remember.
Old lifelines lose strength over time and cannot support us in new situations. Expressions like “if only” and “I remember when” lose their ability to support us, and instead drain the energy we need for new situations.
Another thing to remember is that not all old things can be changed immediately. Sometimes we don’t want to completely leave the old, especially if it involves family and friends. We can learn rather how to keep these people in our lives while still altering our patterns to avoid reacting in old, harmful ways and feel whole. In complicated relationships and situations, it is difficult to wade through deciding if they have enough value to keep if we are able to release them, and how we want to act and react and be with these old things we still want to keep. Be kind and thoughtful as you decide.
Here is an exercise that may help you transform what was past:
1. Take all the past you wish to transform and bunch it together into a ball.
2. Smash all those things in the ball together and think of them like you would fertilizer. (If it helps, keep in mind that manure is used as fertilizer.)
3. Imagine digging a hole and putting your ball of smashed mess in the hole.
4. Decide what self-empowering seeds you want to sow.
5. Put the seeds in the hole.
6. Think about how all these past things are now the manure fertilizing your new seeds.
7. Next put healthy grounding earth on top of your messy stuff and seeds.
8. Allow your seeds to grow.
9. Nurture your seeds with love, the soothing rain of healthy energy, and the sun that warms you from within because you are empowering your authentic self.
10. As seems appropriate, send more love and nurturance to support your growth.
11. Watch yourself emerge into holding yourself in your personal strength and power. See how you are emerging to show who you honestly are and want to be seen by the world.
12. As you watch yourself grow, you may notice a few thorns or barbs. Thorns and barbs are self-protection. You only need a few for protection. (Too many repel people.) A few enable you to protect and take care of yourself.
13. See your shine and personal beauty as you release the old that doesn’t serve you and grow into your brilliant self!
Remember, it takes time for a seed to grow. Please be kind to yourself and don’t expect a complete shift to happen overnight. The more you continue to send love to your emerging real self, the stronger you are and will be from this moment forward. Take the time needed and adjust as desired so you are the real emerging you in your energy.
Being your real self is energizing and shows your shine to be seen by all. And as you shine, allow yourself to also be as perfectly imperfect and flawed as reasonably possible so you can have room to have fun, laugh, and be real. Remember, perfection is too hard to try to uphold all the time and drains energy. Be energized and wonderfully you!