Understanding how to achieve changes is only a part. There really are so many things involved and ways we sabotage ourselves it’s difficult to completely understand how to achieve those desired changes. Think of how many New Year’s resolutions are made and equally how many are forgotten or just let go. Though understanding is significant to success.
I don’t want to be discouraging while at the same time be real. However this is a topic that can be looked at yet only partially understood. If achieving change was so simple we’d all do it all the time and there would not be millions of books on the topic. Though this real side of the topic seems discouraging, that’s not the whole truth. Knowing and understanding can support a successful outcome.
There are so many things to understand about change and how that understanding can help support achieving your desired outcome. So let me talk about some of the aspects of change and how understanding these aspects help to achieve a desirable outcome. This is not going to be a step by step because I don’t believe there is a step by step way to understanding or achieving change. Though a discussion of the topic will provide insight and an understanding.
–Of course first off, What is the desired change?
–This may seem obvious but it’s not. How clear are you on what you want? How committed are you to the end result? Does this goal seem reasonable? Is the goal yours?
–Who is originating the desired change?
–Though it may seem obvious it still deserves mentioning. When you are the one who desires the change, you have the most invested in its outcome, hence achievement. Simply said, a desired outcome originated by oneself for oneself is the easiest to achieve.
–When a desire is group related there are strengths in numbers supporting a goal. However there are also drawbacks. Group members may not have the same vision which can confuse the final outcome. So just know when affirming with a group the achievement of the final goal may be different for each member of the group.
–And lastly, it’s not always hard to achieve a desired end result when the goal is not your own. BUT maintaining any results is difficult when you take on a goal for you originated by another.
–What timeline have you given this goal?
–There are many goals that have yesterday as the time to achieve by date. This may seem humorous but how often are you impatient to have immediately? Because change is a complex process, unrealistic deadlines are not realistic.
–Give yourself the gift of time, unless this is not possible. Then do your best to accomplish as much or all in the time you have.
–Be willing to give yourself time to adapt the desired end result. This is an important piece to understand. So often we start with one thought and over time, such things as, new information, insight, frustration, loss of interest, and outside interference effect the end result
–Our brain is set to repeat the familiar.
–Without the cautious part of the brain to repeat patterns life would be chaotic. Imagine driving or getting dressed or the other many things we just do, without having automatic patterns set would be like. Imagine such activities when driving, as stopping at a red light, keeping watch on other drivers, and all the other automatic activities done would be like. This is also why people automatically stop where a stop sign used to be. Once we learn something it is a set pattern and we don’t need to relearn it each and every time. How challenging would it be to need to learn to zip or tie or button, each and every time. Breathing is another automatic activity. Life is filled with these automatic responses.
–However, these automatic responses also cause back sliding and other difficulties when we are working toward a change. This is also why when the end result is ours and ours alone the automatic barriers can be easier to adjust.
–With the brain wanting to repeat the familiar patterns, time to get the brain to catch up is necessary. Some goals are harder to rush when the familiar pattern is more ingrained.
–The advantage to this pattern repetition being in place is it also gives you time to evaluate, adjust, and adapt the desired outcome so it fits best with and for you.
–Use of aids helps the movement of change.
–There are many aids one can use to help facilitate change. These aids include but are not limited to: use of affirmations, essential oils, emotional tapping, meditation, reminders, change in activities, stones, elixirs, and the many more help keep the focus in front of you.
–Words are an aid. It may be important to step back your wording from an absolute to possible. This is not common thinking. If the end result seems overwhelming, beginning your wording with a believed possible helps the energy shift to the possibility. Once the possibility seems real the stronger end result wording is stronger and more easily attainable.
–All aids do help shift energy and circulate stagnant energy or patterns.
–Grief–Change leaving an old for a new. Therefore, change has some grief as a part of the process. At times it is the lack of thinking through what needs to change and how you will feel about those changes that holds the old in place. Be prepared to experience some grief, though small or large, it is a part.
–With caution tell others of your goal.
–Others whose support is true and real you can help you stay focused on your goal. Who has your best interest at heart, while still allowing you room to change, falter, and abandon a goal.
–Equally important is to NOT tell everyone. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Do not share your goal with people who will not honestly support you. Support is different from badgering, intimidating, humiliating, and all the other ways some say they are doing just to help you get what you want. Sometimes these same individuals are not kind, helpful, or hold your best interest.
–Be willing to adjust and adapt.
–Since change means altering already existing patterns, use the frustrating times wisely. Use the time to make sure the original outcome is still, as once set, the result you want.
–Evaluate to change or adapt or abandon the end result if and as it seems best for you. Sometimes when starting in we realize the timing is off or the end result is no longer aligned with the original thinking.
–Remember to be kind to yourself.
–Since change, even with understanding, is challenging, remember to be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to make any and all changes and adjustments to the perceived result as you go along as it is best for you.
Change is complicated. Understanding how it works and doesn’t, will help you achieve a favorable result. Be kind. Be open. And be willing to adapt. Be true to yourself so you can be who you are and meant to be.